It is hard to cope with the state of the world right now. There is so much fear, uncertainty, and pain. In order to address this we all have these coping strategies or parts that jump up to help us through. I am sure you have seen or personally experienced some of these. Some are to become hypervigilant about safety and cleanliness, some to hoard toilet paper and food, some to become angry when others aren’t participating in community efforts to keep us safe, and some shut down and pretend they are immune. Believe it or not all of these parts are trying to help us in some way, and some effectively do. Especially in extreme circumstances like our current world these parts can work against us too as they become intense, stubborn, judgmental, fragmenting, and aloof. They can even lead to more anxiety, physical symptoms, avoidance, or disconnection.
Internal Family Systems Therapy or IFS talks about the self energy behind these parts we can access. We can count on this energy to lead us and let us know what to do. Richard Swartz, the founder likens this self to what guides many spiritual practices, In hinduism, the self, Buddhism, Buddha nature, Christianity, the holy spirit. Other names might be the universe, the soul, or our divine essence.
According to Swartz how we get to this part of ourselves is to get these other parts to step back and often this is by listening and having compassion for them and what they are trying to do. Swartz has come up with 8 C’s of self energy that help us access and recognize when we are in this healing space.
Curiosity- Curiosity is an important aspect of self as we relate to the parts of both ourselves and others. As a trauma informed therapist I am often looking at the behavior of others as a function of something that has tried to protect them or help them cope in some way. We can turn this curiosity to both ourselves and others when we act in ways that are not loving or kind. This in itself often opens up a space for understanding and healing allowing them to soften and turn to another way.
Calm- Many people are familiar with this aspect of self who use contemplative practices such as meditation or mindfulness. An analogy I like is getting past the choppy surface of water to the deep steady dark blue underneath the waves. This is often what is chased with meditation as there is wisdom and peace in this calm space.
Compassion- Having compassion for our parts is so important. As said before even the most obnoxious parts of ourselves and others are all trying to help in some way. If we treat our parts and others with contempt and frustration this often leads to more disconnect and disarray. If instead, we use compassion, they will often soften and work with us in a healing way.
Creativity- The Self has also been compared to a state of Flow. Ideas and inspiration can grow here if we are attuned to our creative center within. Have some fun here and know the creative solutions and healing you need are already within.
Clarity- One of my favorite parts of working with self energy in therapy is how I find over and over that when people are in tune with self they know who they are and know what they need. The next step is clear in a way only they are capable of knowing and finding.
Courage- Being in self is often peaceful and zen, but sometimes the answers we find take courageous action. As Brene Brown defines integrity as choosing courage over comfort, sometimes there is a nudge to push outside of what is comfortable. Self energy will also sometimes give insight into a boundary we need to when others are not treating us in a way we deserve.
Confidence- The self knows who it is. It is worthy and enough.
Connectedness- The self understands it is connected to something larger, such as the universe, and also the self energy of others.
So how do we access this self that is always available to us? IFS offers some specific strategies:
Parts Mapping: We can get to know our parts better and get to the self energy by asking them a few basic questions:
What are the characteristics of this part? How does it feel in my body? What are some of its thoughts or cognitions? What are this parts emotions?
What is helpful about having this part?
What might be at risk if this part were not here to help me in this way?
How long has this part been helping me in this way?
What tends to help this part calm down, even if just a little bit?
Mindfulness and Meditation:
Mindfulness and meditation can be great ways to access self energy. This can be done in many different ways such as focusing on your breath, using APPs such as calm or headspace, podcasts, or formal practices.
Some of my favorite resources are:
https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations
https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditations/
The Meditation Oasis Podcast
Tara Brach Podcast
Working with the C’s: As much as you can be aware of and work with the C’s listed above you are cultivating self energy.
What ways work for you?
You can also tune into your own inner wisdom to find ways that help you connect that are personal to you. Some people connect to self spiritually with a sacred space or other spiritual practice. Some connect through nature with fresh air, a hike, or a breathtaking view of it’s beauty. Family, gratitude, artwork, activity, and yoga are all ideas that could work too.
Therapy
A therapist can help you work with and heal these parts to access self energy as well. Many of them exist due to traumas or patterns of protection that are no longer working well for you. Allow Therapy is available for you via telehealth and want to work with you to awaken the healing potential already within you.
Take some time to cultivate this Energy within you. Even in this changing and uncertain world there is a loving and compassionate center within all of us. This energy can center us and help you act in a way only you can know and do. Know the self within me sees and values the self energy in you. Namaste.
-Alicia